Thursday, October 6, 2011

So many things this week. Rosh Hashanah was lovely, despite a scientifically as-yet-to-be-explained invasion of hundreds of incapacitated dragonflies on our block. Very odd. Our car had a bunch of work done in the last few months (including a new-to-us transmission), and now all the same problems are back. For a while the transmission would work if parked on a flat surface, but that no longer seems to do the trick. Then erev Rosh Hashanah I got a toothache. On Monday I discovered that tooth needed a root canal, which will BE"H be done tomorrow.

Then today I went in with some potentially very serious health symptoms. B"H it was nothing a couple of prescriptions couldn't take care of, so tonight I'm feeling incredibly grateful that it's very minor (but it certainly kicked off a round of getting a regular doctor set up for myself!).

In addition, without going into all the details, I had a very upsetting encounter with a nurse tonight and told her that I thought she was being very unprofessional and inappropriate and requested that someone else tend to me. I was extremely upset by her comments (compounded by the fact that I had the exact symptoms of something very serious). The NP I saw both apologized and defended the nurse. I was livid and ready to walk out of there, but the dear friend I was with calmed me down enough that I was able to move forward with the exam. (And those who know me know that ordinarily I am a VERY calm person!) So, I got the good news (HOORAY!) and then my dear friend suggested that perhaps the nurse could come back and apologize. No, no, no I thought. I don't ever want to see her again, let alone talk to her. But of course, my friend was right once again.

The nurse came in, complete contrition written all over her face. She apologized profusely, said she had handled it incorrectly every step of the way, and to please forgive her. She did not offer any excuses, but took full responsibility for her poor judgment, and her eyes were full of tears. I extended my hand immediately and we ended up in a hug. She said that if I chose to ever come back here again she would take very good care of me and make sure that I got everything I needed. It was sweet and genuine and full of true remorse. And such an "odd" timing on the Jewish calendar, the week when we are paying extra attention to where we still need to make amends and apologize to those around us and to Hashem for everything we've done wrong this year and not yet done teshuva for.

It was very moving to witness someone do real teshuva (repentance) and to feel all my anger at her utterly dissipate in an instant. Just like when we turn to Hashem this week and ask him to forgive us for the aveiros we have done against him and he immediately scoops us up and forgives it all. And so too do I hope I will be able to ask forgiveness from other human beings as beautifully as that nurse did tonight.

A day of great anxiety had a sweet ending and for that I am most grateful - grateful for the loved ones around me and the loved ones who gave birth to me and cared for me as a child (and as an adult!), grateful for every moment I spend with my children whether it's tearing our hair out with math or chasing lizards or putting away laundry, grateful to have a husband who is as dear to me as he ever could possibly be, and grateful to be drawing breath each day. It is all a great gift from Hashem.

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